Practicing acceptance and making way for self-love

Have you ever learned something about yourself that felt soul-shifting?

And once you learned that thing it cleared the way for so much goodness? Welp, that happened to me this past month - hard and fast.

I’ve been focusing on practicing acceptance in the Live Your Inner Power (LYIP) program and wow has it created some huge shifts. Accepting in this sense is all about acknowledging where you’re at...

In life
In work
In relationships
In your body
What’s past
What’s present
All of it

...and accepting it for what it is without resisting or trying to change it. When you’re able to take a step back and become a witness to your life it’s totally groundbreaking.

My goal for this program is to shed my fear of judgement and I’m already well on my way after learning this practice. As I was learning and working my way through the journaling questions for this practice it became clear that I’ve been judging myself all along - it hit me like a freight train. For doing too much, for not doing enough, not being productive enough, wanting to do this or that differently, wishing for more of this, wanting more of that.

As women we are always judging ourselves, our bodies, our friends, our lives, every little facet of it and when I was able to step back and see that my fear of judgement came from how I’ve been talking to and treating myself...whoa, that was big.

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After I uncovered this, I was able to consciously try to move past it towards what I truly desire which is more authenticity and vulnerability, allowing myself to be seen in all my beauty and imperfections by others. Whenever I felt myself resisting or assessing how things were in a good or bad way I would stop and simply accept them as the reality of what’s happening in my life. That’s all. No judging, no resisting, just being.

I found that after I started doing this I had more energy and more clarity about my direction and how I wanted to spend my time. I’m able to arrive in each moment more fully and see the abundance that I already experience in my life with the knowledge that I created that. I’m able to love myself even more now because I’m not resisting or judging anything that happens but instead recognizing right where I’m at and how amazing that truly is.

Surrender and you will receive – really? That’s a surprise ☺

What are your big stressors?

Time - it's the top complaint I hear from stressed women! Relationships - women orient their lives to relationships, of course this is big stuff for us! Love and the desire for good loving - who doesn't want this if we don't have it? 

It's time to surrender...

Do you connect the word surrender with loss? I did for a long time. I have learned, gratefully, that surrender means gain in so many ways. Let me give you some examples ~

When I surrender to my need for self-care, I replenish my energy to give easily and freely.

surrender-self-care
surrender-trth
surrender-difficult relationship
surrender-time
surrender to love
surrender-heart

If you are struggling with anxiety, stress or fatigue, my guess is that mastering the art of surrendering could become your great healing agent.

If you looking for relief from anxiety, stress or fatigue, I am here to help you live your inner power and find that relief.  

What is your great stress? Did you like this blog? I'd love to hear from you :)

Surrendering to the 24 hours in each day

Your relationship to time matters. When you chronically feel that there isn't enough time, you trap yourself in a world where you can never get enough done. You turn yourself into a human machine instead of a human being. I don't want that for you because I know how terrible it feels to be living like a machine. That's a story for another day :)

Here are some ideas about how to shift your relationship with time. 

1. Spend time without having a schedule. Yes, you can do this at least on the weekends.

2. Stop wearing a watch. Use the handy timer on your smart phone (or buy a cheap timer) to keep track of a meeting or a portion of time.

3. Learn how to wake up without an alarm clock.

4. Start telling yourself everyday that you have plenty of time for what is really important to you. Get your subconscious mind to start prioritizing and stop wasting time with unimportant stuff.

5. Do your deathbed work so you aren't afraid of wasting your life.

Some of these may sound a little strange, perhaps impossible. I would have thought so years ago too. All of these practices helped me change my relationship with time. These habits equate to a sense of real freedom and peace. 

 

Sure you can organize more, be more efficient and plan better.

But if you really believe you don't have enough time, you'll just organize and plan yourself into another time-limited box.

If you want to really get to the business of changing your relationship with time, consider a few coaching sessions with me. Email me at laurelhollandh@gmail.com.

Surrender to the truth that each day is 24 hours ~ and you will discover there's just the right amount of time every day ~


How can your Ego help You? by Pixie Hamilton

I have always thought of the Ego in a somewhat negative light. I saw it separate and as the part of me that “steals” from my Divinity and my “truth.” I have been taught in church (including the New Thought church I currently attend) that my Ego is bad – that it Edges God Out, so to speak. Over the past 15 years I have looked at my Ego through “black and white” eyes; my Ego was the “Fear” in my life, whereas my Divine Source was the “Love.” My Ego was “evil,” and the Divine Source in me was “good.” My latest breakthrough, or “AHA” moment, was that I have been giving Ego a really bad rap. I need my Ego. I especially need my Ego as defined by Webster and other dictionaries: “Ego is the mediator in the material world around me; it is that part of me that is thinking, feeling, and willing; it is that part of me that experiences and reacts to the outside world and mediates the demands of the social and physical environment; it is that part of me that controls my thoughts and behavior; that part of me that facilitates me with the external world and reality.”

What if my Ego was also my mediator between me and my Divinity?

What if my Ego wasn’t all bad? What if my Ego was my friend and my ally?

For 15 years, I essentially (and unknowingly) gave it up for Divinity. Sounds strange, but I gave up my Ego to save my soul.

So, at 57 years old I began to ask what does my Ego look like? What does its voice sound like? Is it manic? Sinister? Kind? Smart? What would it (essentially me?) look like if it were illuminated?

I threw my “black and white” glasses down and began to look at myself with clearer eyes, new clarity and awareness. I stared and stared at the mirror. Literally. I looked hard and wondered who it was. Blankly the image stared back. I stared harder, and longer, and more longingly to embrace a new view of this person. It wasn’t long that I realized a lot about my Ego. Sure, it can be negative. I see why it gets a bad rap. The Ego gives me the urge to inflate, to assert, dominate, interrupt, compare, manipulate, insult, lack curiosity...I could go on. But, after observing “me” with this new clarity, I see that my Ego—my thoughts, my mediation of the world around me—is also very kind, caring, energetic, playful, smart, inquisitive, listening, persistent, hard-working…and, yes, I could go on.

Why would I give that up? Why not embrace and own that part of me and my personality and my behavior? Why not simply become more aware of when my Ego runs amok and those times that my Ego behaves out of alignment with my Source? Why not just sit with a feeling of simplicity and the grace of being myself in those times? Why not watch and “simply be?” I can choose that deliberately– after all, the Ego is my thoughts and mind. If I want to, I can refuse, for example, to make that phone call and gossip. Or refuse to denigrate myself. I can just let it go. My Ego is my vehicle to choose, thoughtfully and deliberately.

LivingConciously

I now realize that avoiding my Ego; hating my Ego; pushing back my Ego; creating that separation over these last years has not allowed me to fully accept “me.” In fact, I am now convinced that it is only up to the last few weeks that I truly accepted and embraced the full ME!

I look again in the mirror, fully without hesitation or questioning. I see the Divine and the Ego. I see the good they can do together. I haven’t fully learned how to tap into “me” yet – my full Ego – but I am now willing to accept and own who I am. I acknowledge the potential raw power. I know that I am unique. I know that I am exceptional. I know that both my Ego and my Divinity are necessary for my wholeness. I need my Ego—my personality, self-image, my projection, my thoughts, my behavior, and my gifts—to express my Divinity, the highest expression of who I am.

Getting to know the Divine and all its universal power, love, abundance, and grace over the last 15 years has saved me. But now I step further into enlightenment. I realize I was only halfway there.

Today and every day forward, I now fully accept my Ego (me) as my critical tool to shine. It is there for realizing that everything that happens is for the expression of the Divine coming through me. What a wonderful thought to think that my Divine Source is using my Ego to serve its (my) glorification. How wonderful to think that when my Ego is in alignment, it is my trusted ally with which I can move forward in this material world – completely, fully, and with Divine love and grace.

Anybody Home?

My heart begins to race, and with a fleeting breath, I squeeze a smile up and out.

This is the moment, the one my mindfulness practice has whispered to me about, and I can sense the choice forming:

Do I get swept into the stream of disingenuous small talk and shallow chuckles, say something I don't mean, lean into a comment that I don't actually agree with

OR

do I take a breath, cognizant that I have a choice in my own response and experience in this moment?

What a challenging place to be. This is all about being brave and aware of choice. It's raw and gritty (and sometimes a little funky). It might be just a flash of time - the quick space in between the breath and the thought - but identifying the internal choice is the first step to honoring your greatest self. In that flash of time you must rally your courage.

I'm learning when my words and actions come from my deep, wise place of inner-knowing, they feel powerful and true. They have meaningful weight, and by saying "yes" to this self-honoring practice, I am able to say "no" to the things that I don't really want to be a part of, like disingenuous small talk.

Recently, in one of these hot and tight moments, I decided to take 5 and reflect. I'm a lover of words, rhythm, and visual representations. I wrote and created a poem to remind me of this sacred space within my body. It is a place that no matter where I am or what I am doing, I can call "home." And the happy news is, it's within each of us, always. Coming home - to this place in myself - has been the key to courageously choosing to be authentically me in challenging moments.

Feel free to download and take with you on your journey. -rachel