Who are you really? And how is your life demonstrating this?

Who are you deep inside? Do you know? Lately, I am reminded that life flows from this connection… so the flow you’re in will reflect how well you honor * the essential you*.

How do connect with the essential you - and then live into that true Self? First you must take time with you and get rigorously honest. I've been in that "space" lately and deepening my truth as I continue to learn and grow.

I've realized that I don’t want to build a "big" business that requires full-time attention. There have been points when I thought I did. I have big dreams and I love feeling successful. And I also want other things that are decidedly, for me, more important.

Coming to terms with wanting a thriving business that is the right size For Me - has been a huge breath of fresh air.

I Love My Clients. We do deep work. We have amazing transformational experiences together. This is what matters to me. The intimacy, the truth, the revelations.

I Love my Husband, my Family. At the heart of my being I know that I am a central figure for my family. My husband relies on me in important ways. I want to offer beautiful energy to our marriage and our business life together, to our deep connection, to Us. I want to be a mother/grandmother who has time for relaxed conversations, for offering my full self with each family member - I love them dearly and want them to know it. *Same with my dearest friendships.* In order to be that woman, I have to have the boundaries placed very delicately, very carefully, so I show up the as the woman I love being - the real Me.

Photo courtesy of Kira Marie Cline - thank you! 

Photo courtesy of Kira Marie Cline - thank you! 

Years ago I began a love affair with my soul.We meet every morning. I listen. I speak. I shed tears of gratitude… I feel the fullness of my life. I revel in the wisdom that brought me down this path of fulfillment and love. I would not abandon my time with this Higher Me for anything.

As you read this, are you thinking about your own life? Do you have the time you want for relationships as well as all the other things you want to experience? Are you feeling good about your priorities? 

We must take care as the rise of the feminine ensues all around us. We could inadvertently create new scenarios that aren't truly what we want but have been conditioned to believe we want. The only way to overcome this is "Know Thyself".  Spend time with Self. Tune in consistently inwardly.

What boundaries must you be cautious of so that you don’t overload your energy and find yourself in a trap of your own making? I'd love to know. 
 

Psychic or Intuitive and how do you live well in all this chaos?

Plant your feet on the ground! Time to get real about what living with awareness and devoting yourself to personal/professional growth is all about!

I am just tickled to share this interview with you. Kim Thalken of Love First and I have become fast friends and she has so much wisdom to share, both from her voice and those of her guides. 

What's it like to be psychic?
What do you do to take care of yourself when you are intuitive?
How can we live more consciously with self-love? 


These are just a few of the questions Kim addresses in our 2-part interview.


Part 1 - How to build your intuition and self-care for the sensitive - Kim shares her own self-care practices and her thoughts about psychic versus intuitive



Part 2 - What can we do today in our chaotic world to make it better? - Kim talks about how you can live well today despite all the chaos and fear that is so troubling to us. 

Grab a coffee, tea or cider, get cozy and be loved by us as you listen in! 

A beginner’s guide to manifesting the life you want

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There’s a lot of language out there in the personal development space these days about “manifesting” and the “law of attraction”. Language about putting what you want out into the Universe and then it comes back to you. All of that might sound a little involved but really, it’s pretty simple stuff. Let’s dive into how you can start this process in your own life today.

  1. Take an inventory of what’s working in your life and what’s not working. Start with an assessment of your core values. How are you living in alignment with what you value and where are areas you aren’t living in alignment with those values?

  2. Get quiet and ask yourself how you want to feel. What do you want your primary emotion to be that you aren’t feeling right now? What brings that emotion out of you? (ex. I want to feel joy. Then ask, what decisions in your days bring you joy?)

  3. DREAM! What do you want your life to look like? Write out your perfect day. What activities do you do? How do you spend your time? What do you feel? What do you taste/smell? Dive into all those sweet, juicy details.

  4. Put it out there and release. Create a vision board for your life. Share your dream with a trusted friend. Someone that allows you to wholeheartedly let yourself be seen and heard.

  5. And then, let go.

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Here’s the deal.

In order for the universe (or whatever higher power you believe in) to hear you, then you must be in alignment with what you value and want in your life. That’s where that sweet little inventory at the beginning comes in.

Boundaries are also key here for coming into alignment. Creating boundaries and habits that support the life experience you want to be having is the initial step to becoming aligned, not only with yourself, but with your higher power.

When we are in alignment, we are vibrating at a higher frequency. Our energy is lighter and we feel good. If I lost you there, think about it this way. When you get rid of a burden, a weight has been lifted (aka you feel lighter). Or when you’re sad, you literally feel heavy and weighed down. When you’re happy, it’s like you could skip down the sidewalk or jump right up and touch the sky because of that joy. The simplicity is this -

Positive emotions are light and negative emotions are heavy. We want more of the positive ones so we experience that high vibration, light-weight energy.

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Allowing yourself to express your dream and have it be received by the great beyond is so important. Don’t get bogged down with asking for it all the time or using your energy every moment to think about what it is you want. That’s not useful or effective.

After you’ve put it out there, you’ve gotta let go and simply live in alignment. Michael Beckwith explains it like this - if you keep asking for it then you’re only sending messages that you don’t have it. He also says it’s like a wishing well, you make the wish and then you release it.

“It’s just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass. Your job is not to figure out how it’s gonna happen for you but to open the door in your head and when the door opens in real life just walk through it. And don’t worry if you miss your cue, they’ll keep opening.”

- Jim Carey

What do you think? Not too hard right? Follow those simple steps and you’ll be on your way to the life of your dreams. And if you want even more, go listen to Michael Beckwith and Oprah over at SuperSoul Conversations - wowwweeeee that’ll really put things into perspective.

If you have any questions about this or want more guidance, comment below! I’m here to help!

Love & Light,
Cass

Self-forgiveness

When we hold judgment, criticism and shame for our past transgressions or "failures" we set ourselves up to come from an "I don't deserve this" place. Here are 7 steps to self-forgiveness. Get out your journal and get to it, to open the doors and create the life you deeply desire. 

 

1.     Allow the transgression (I like this word because it tends to be less “judgy” feeling to me, but feel free to use whatever word works for you) to be fully considered. Take time to write about it in it’s entirety. Tell the whole story with only the facts included. (Hint - it will sound like a police report.) 

2.     Now take time to explore all the feelings, complications and implications that you are struggling with regarding the situation. This is a time to let go of the facts and take inventory of how this experience has impacted you, limited your life, and caused judgments andcriticisms about yourself, others, and even the world.

3.     Ask yourself - what do I need to do or say to let this remain in the past? Is there an apology you need to make? Is there a letter you need to write a conversation you need to have?  Amends that you want to extend? Now do it.

4.     Be clear on what you learned about yourself, life, and humanity through this experience. State that clearly and make a decision that you have grown beyond the past experience, and have changed.

5.     Begin the process of letting go. Send yourself love and compassion for what happened, agreeing that you learned something valuable and that your soul has grown. Do this repeatedly anytime it comes up within or around you.

6.     Hold yourself accountable to living from this more evolved and wise place by embodying and living your wisdom in whatever way you feel is right for you.

7.     Share your truth with a trusted other in complete safety. Be sure to choose wisely so this step doesn’t send you back and continues to move you forward.

Share your comments, questions or confusion in the comments below! I'm here to support your journey into self-forgiveness.

Boundaries are Key

You can do this! Take it from a reformed people-pleaser that saying no can become a response you give with love, kindness and clarity. It's also essential to learn how to deal with others who have a hard time taking no for an answer. Building a life you love involves learning to become a skilled boundary setter - with others, with your time, and with your energy.

Share your tips in the comments below for setting boundaries with love and kindness, but also with firmness and clarity - we want to know!

What exactly are You agreeing to?

Many years ago I was not a happy person. There was much about my life that was good, but inside I was not relaxed and comfortable. I was anything but peaceful. I had been agreeing to a life that was not about the real me.

People mistakenly believe that it’s luck or good fortune that brings about feeling good inside. I think inner peace comes through consistent, repetitive action.

As I seriously consider my “happy” inner life, I realize that I have made some agreements about how I will conduct myself. These are active steps bring about the “good” life I enjoy today.

I have 10 agreements - that I have made and that I keep - for living a peaceful inner life.

My agreements are ~

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This is how I maintain the agreements.

When I hear my voice, out loud or in my mind, being self-critical, I replace my words with words of love and kindness. When I hear my voice, out loud or in my mind, being judgmental, to anyone or anything, I am quiet and focus on my breath.

My feelings and thoughts have guidance for me and I know how to work with these vital energies masterfully. When I feel stuck, I commit to discovering the old belief or pattern that is out of alignment with who I truly am and I shed it.

I devote a chosen amount of time daily to sit in silence and listen inwardly.

I break the cultural pattern of making what I do the definition of who I am. Instead I focus on having my actions express who I am at my essence.

I choose those who I place in my inner circle as people who offer me honesty and encouragement to grow into my full potential. I know my values that relate to my highest potential and promote these values through my self-expression.

Knowing that life is a process and everything is connected, I release attachment to controlling any outcomes. Instead I immerse myself in living in the present moment and being fully alive and awake to all that is within and around me. 

All of these are habitual patterns that I created to lead my life. I had to replace self-defeating patterns with these new ones to enjoy the life I have today.

Here is a PDF so that you can download the agreements  ~ 

We live in a world that continues to cultivate behaviors that create more anxiety and more fear. You have to make a big commitment and step outside the general flow to create an empowered and joyful way of living.  

I’d love to hear which agreements seem the most important to you. Post a comment and let’s support each other to create more peace and less fear. 

Sick and tired of rescuing others? Maybe you can help by stopping that...

Stop right there! Do you want to rescue the people around you from discomfort and stress? Read this first! cropped-examine.jpg

Discomfort can be a way the body registers stress and the need to grow and change. It can signal the need to act differently. It can be the call to change or connect with the changes going on around us. It can be a plea to listen and pay attention more carefully. It can herald new beginnings.

As a mother, a woman, a friend and a daughter, the most difficult times for me to let discomfort be a servant, is when my discomfort is signaling a loved one's discomfort. My immediate reaction is to help, to make it better, to make the pain go away for them. I have learned to no longer react to this instant inner response.

My path to changing this pattern and creating a new way of interacting first took hold when I practiced the agreement "No Advice Giving" at our women's center. No advice giving embodies the belief that each of us holds our own best wisdom and advice internally, that we are brilliant - inherently smart enough to know what we need. We simply need a space to connect to that inner wise one. We can learn to provide that space for others. It's a different way of supporting that releases the knee jerk reaction of rescuing.

Being a sacred space holder for another is a high act of service and wisdom. It requires doing your own work so you can get out of another's way of growing well. It requires adopting new beliefs about what really helps others when they are stressed and in need. It means you become skillful at sitting with discomfort yourself and wondering about it before instantly making it go away or distracting yourself from it. All this helps you return to the childlike curiosity of a fresh mind. It's quite liberating when you experience "being a sacred space holder".

The next time you have the urge to rescue another, take a breath. Notice the urge. Don't act on it. Begin to wonder, what does this person want? How might their discomfort serve them if I can hold space for them and encourage them to explore their discomfort more deeply? What in me needs support or growth so that I no longer "need" to rescue?

If this posting speaks to your heart, take a look at my newly released book, Courageous Woman, Live Your Inner Power. The book is a full dive into new ways of considering how to connect with yourself and the world around you, a way to grow your capacity to be fully present to life, live powerfully and feel good!

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Vulnerable Leadership

My most valuable lessons in leadership came through my involvement as a founder and leader at the Women's Center for Wellness, now re-birthed as Authentic Women Circle. It was here that I came to understand that each one of us has our own best advice sacredly held within. I learned how to be a part of forming a safe container for others to come into direct communion with that inner wisdom. It was in these circles that I received and expanded some of my greatest training as a Life Coach. I witnessed again and again the truth that we all have equally important thoughts and ideas to share, that I need not have answers to anyone's life problems but my own. Life is a journey to grow and learn, to evolve into our highest potential through working our way through our individual life challenges as gracefully as possible. Circle

Here are some of my lofty, yet practical intentions when I lead.

* I let go of what may be occupying my mind and allow myself to release into the experience presented. (Meditation is some of the best self-training for this)

* I stay centered in myself to be keyed into what I hear, feel and see, and simply reflect that back. (Again mediation is a power tool)

* If intuitively I sense something of a deeper nature, I share this. (Oops yet again meditation hones this skill too)

* I share honestly from my own experience and perspective.

* I refrain from analyzing and evaluating, but rather approach every encounter as a "what is happening right now?" that is important and worthy of deeper understanding as a teaching tool for both myself and whoever I am with.

If you are growing your leadership skills, I invite you to try on my practices and see how they feel and how they impact whatever experience you are in. I'd love to hear how you do with it!

Don't Wait for Death

What you don't deal with in life comes to visit at the end of life. NOTE - What you DO deal with frees you to live wholly, honestly in this life. 

When my dad passed last month, I became acutely aware of the gifts of dealing directly with old hurts, forgiving and letting go. My healing journey began 26 years ago. I spent many hours in self-reflection and in healing spaces with loving support that helped me grow into the strong and clear woman I am today. I worked hard and made a very deep commitment to myself to heal all that I can in this lifetime. I continue that commitment. It no longer feels like work, it feels like loving service to myself and others.

I felt very disappointed and frustrated with my relationship with my father for a long time. With persistence and the right kind of help, I came to accept my father for who he was and allowed him to be just that without internally anguishing about what I didn't care for. I also came to know who I am, allowing myself to be all of Me! My dad loved me in his way. I wanted more intimacy and connection in my relationships than I experienced with him. I want to feel known and heard and understood. In time I gathered a beautiful support circle (that grows and changes with life changes) that nurtured me into a true sense of wholeness. These people know me, understand me and listen well to me. They are my chosen tribe. I let go of the need to have a quality of relationship with my Dad that I had wanted but couldn't cultivate without him wanting those same things. I let it be. My gift was that I experienced wonderful love and support from others, and also found peace inside to let my Dad be who he was  - less able to navigate and cultivate intimate relationships.

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During his last week of life I held space from afar. My youngest sister and dear niece, who is a nurse, tended him at his bedside. I sent loving prayers and attention and intention for him to have the end of life experience that he desired. I lit candles and created an altar that I could look at, reminding me to send peace and love their way consistently. This allowed me to feel like I was participating in a valuable way. I checked in with myself daily to make sure I didn't "need" to head north to see him one more time. I made sure he was asked if he wanted me there. He said,"Laurel knows".  We were at peace with one another.

We were at peace with one another because I wanted nothing less than peace and dedicated myself to the cause. I believe he wanted the same. So it was. But in order to get to that peace I needed to feel all the other heavier feelings that came earlier in life with the disappointment and lack of connection. I needed to cry those tears of loss, say what I wanted to him, voice the disappointment and then, Let it Be, release. And in doing that I opened a space within to become peaceful. I gained freedom from the old relationship of little girl and emotionally unavailable father. The relationship became spiritual seeker and spiritual seeker. I could tell him what I thought and not hold back. And that felt good because I like to think (I hope this is true) that I did so compassionately, boldly and clearly. I have my thoughts, opinions and path to walk Dad, and I am doing it.

Sadly, others in my family have not walked this healing path. My Dad did not know how to navigate that space with them and lead them along. The end of my Dad's life brought drama in this circle. Because at the end of life, what wasn't dealt with in life comes to visit. I am saddened by these new family dynamics, but I accept that this is the consequence of not doing the work while we are alive and able to make that conscious choice to create more healed, harmonious and loving relationships. We all have the opportunity to seek inner peace and healing. When we take that opportunity and run with it, everyone around us is served. We contribute to global harmony in our most powerful way. By creating it internally and in all the relationships we engage in as best we can.

ExamineWhat have you been avoiding, what creates conflict for you inside? Now is the time to learn to navigate those difficult waters, while you have time to create the peace you desire.

Boundary Setting and Creating the Life You Want

The boundaries you set equates to what you experience in life. When you create with clear intention and fence and sunconscious choice, you become empowered to live a fulfilling life. If you are not living the life you want right now, here is an exercise that can help you make changes that will move you towards an improved experience. Ideally, find a quiet time to sit and reflect for a while. Here is a template to use.

Identify an area of your life

  1. Describe the condition of this area of your life right now.
  2. How did you decide to begin this experience and how has it changed since the beginning?
  3. How have you grown or changed since this experience started?
  4. What have you learned from this experience?
  5. If you could wave a magic wand and change this experience right now, what would it look like?
  6. What small step can you take right now, that will bring you in closer alignment with this change?
  7. Make a plan of change - create a series of steps to move to the change you want in this experience.
  8. Execute the plan, modifying this plan as needed depending on what occurs as you execute your plan.

Examining the boundaries you have put (or not put) in place is a crucial aspect of acknowledging the life you have created. It is important to spend time considering your personal boundaries, relationship boundaries, work life boundaries, your creative boundaries as well as your inner boundaries.

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Making conscious boundary choices alters your life flow in ways that ultimately support your best interests as well as the interest of the world around you. It means you decide consciously to create a life in alignment with your inner truth and your inner passions. In my experience, everyone wins when you do this. When you bring only a weak, watered-down version of self to any experience, no one benefits. When you bring a passionate, creative, energetic self into an experience, everyone benefits.

Make a plan today to bring your energetic, passionate, creative Self into action - the world needs You!