This month I have been reminded of the benefits of moving into distress and working with its energy consciously. Being challenged by an autoimmune disorder, my physical discomfort and emotional imbalance give me pause to consider what I am learning about mind-body wellness and the depth of seeking that is sometimes required to experience vibrant health. After ten years of erratic and unpredictable symptoms, I have learned to more gracefully accept what appears in my life. I choose not to reinforce the experience by giving little mental attention to those symptoms. I know that the bulk of my suffering comes when I cannot simply allow the discomfort, and yet enjoy what I can of the experience of the moment. I can limit the breadth of my discomfort by acknowledging the limitations of my energy, honoring that day's limitation to the best of my ability given my commitments of the day. Moment-to-moment, I choose to let the physical discomfort fade to the background as I give good attention to whatever is at hand that can offer me a different kind of fulfillment and satisfaction.
On the other hand, I honor its call to my soul, for a deeper understanding of self-care and self-attention. And that call doesn't necessarily come decoded :) It's a bit of a trial and error to sit still and listen carefully to what I might need at the deepest level. Having crafted a life that I love, I wonder how this imbalance may be serving me, what my deepest self has yet to learn about living life in the most fulfilling and creative way that I can.
I allow the moments of grief that arise with the reemergence of symptoms. The loss of feeling well daily, counting on that wellness as a steady state, can bring tears to my eyes as I acknowledge letting go of some aspects of my day, knowing I need to rest and move more slowly as some of my energy is diverted to managing pain and fatigue. In allowing the grief, I feel in tune and empowered by the truth of my experience for whatever it is in the moment. Resistance to my truth in this day no longer serves me.
And I am immensely grateful that there is medication that I can take that will bring my body into new balance and wellness. I fully feel that gratitude as my search continues for how my own mind-body will maintain that balance. This is my experiment with life!
As I plumb the depths of the science of mind, the art of heart-based living and the joy of living in tune with my soul's desires, I consider my life the best experimenting ground I have in this go-around of evolving consciousness. I continue to share my revelations of how to craft our best lives using our minds and our hearts well. For today, I play with my immediate experience to discover how best to listen to the inner call, honor it, and grow to embody the highest vibration that I can encourage. That feels good!