surrender

Surrender and you will receive – really? That’s a surprise ☺

What are your big stressors?

Time - it's the top complaint I hear from stressed women! Relationships - women orient their lives to relationships, of course this is big stuff for us! Love and the desire for good loving - who doesn't want this if we don't have it? 

It's time to surrender...

Do you connect the word surrender with loss? I did for a long time. I have learned, gratefully, that surrender means gain in so many ways. Let me give you some examples ~

When I surrender to my need for self-care, I replenish my energy to give easily and freely.

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If you are struggling with anxiety, stress or fatigue, my guess is that mastering the art of surrendering could become your great healing agent.

If you looking for relief from anxiety, stress or fatigue, I am here to help you live your inner power and find that relief.  

What is your great stress? Did you like this blog? I'd love to hear from you :)

Surrendering to a Difficult Relationship and Finding Comfort

We mistakenly believe that relationships that are difficult are not worthy of our attention or time.

Or worse, we obsess over what to do but do nothing but think it over, and over and over. 

And at some point leaving a relationship may be the wisest decision. But leaving prematurely means you might miss an opportunity to really grow and gain essential wisdom. 

My suggestion is first to surrender to the difficult relationship. Because it let's you know what you really want, and own it.

So how do you know what to do about a difficult relationship? Surrendering can be taken in steps ~

1. Identify why you began the relationship. Be clear and precise about what you were seeking in it.

2. Assess what you want from it now. Be clear and be precise.

3. Ask for what you want. Be clear in your communication. If you are clear in yourself, you will be clear in your communication. If you are not clear in yourself, go back to step 2. 

4. Get an answer from the "other" about whether they are willing or interested to have and give, what it is you want to receive and offer, in this relay-tionship. Remember it's about both of you, it's about a back and forth. The dynamics change when BOTH people want change.

5. When the relationship is causing difficult feelings to come up for you, take time to know what the feelings are and what your expectations behind the feelings are.

6. Do your shadow work! When you are bothered by a quality in someone, ask yourself "how does this quality live in me?"

7. Trust your heart to move through the process honestly and authentically. Without authenticity you suffer and others do too.

What you want matters. If you don't claim it forthrightly, it often goes underground and makes life messy. It's courageous to own what you want.

What stops you from saying what you want in a relationship? Share that right here  and we can support you to grow in any difficult relationship you are experiencing.

Self-care Surrender

One of my deepest lessons in this life has been to stop people-pleasing. It still can catch me up if I am not on my game.

People pleasing comes from a place of wanting to help others. It's not a bad thing, it just doesn't necessarily accomplish the intention. When we see adults distressed and we are young, we mistakenly believe we can make life better for them by trying to please them. Wanting to please can be a fine line between socially acceptable behavior and squelching your true self. If we start this pattern when young, we get caught in cycles and patterns where we don't even know who we are. We keep modifying our behavior to avoid conflict and create less stressful situations. 

Self-care was the remedy for the people-pleasing habit in my life. I needed to get to know myself and honor who I am, understand what my needs are, and to tune in to my inner most desires.

I realized as I reflected on my life (during self-care time) that I never rescued anyone or made anyone happy though my people-pleasing. Sure, I may have made life quieter in some respects, but I didn't make the "bad stuff" go away for anyone. Finally I know that everyone has to do that for themselves. And when they do, they are empowered and uplifted. 

 

As I honor my needs, follow my wants and trust my intuition, I slowly built a life of all things good. Self-care was the path that led to serving the world naturally and with heartfelt passion. Self-care equates to feeling full every day so that I can give more, easily, and with joy.

Self-care is not optional when you decide to live a fulfilling life.

What self-care is your being asking for? Are the messages coming through illness or imbalance? Through crisis of relationship or work? Sometimes this is how life gets our attention. I'd love to know what you need ~