living in the now

A Technique for Developing Presence

Use a timer to make this technique even more impactful ~

Use a timer to make this technique even more impactful ~

How do you clear the slates of your mind to become present to what you are encountering – right now? This is the key to being present, to living fully in the now, and to being truly available to those with whom you are spending your time.
Are you frustrated, like I am, with people looking at their phones instead of into your eyes?

We live in a world where many of us are distracted by social media, what’s popping up on our smart phones, and the on-going feeling of never getting enough done. Presence– or the lack of - is a real problem for relationships and for communicating effectively.
Say hi to “What’s On Top?”! I love this technique for purposefully making yourself available for life in the moment. We used this strategy in group process at our womens centers, and I have carried it through in the groups I lead today.
One of my recent program participants used it in our phone conversation today and I thought, “This is a great share for the blog!” Everyone could benefit from this simple but powerful communication and presence technique. 
This strategy for cultivating greater presence is called “What’s On Top?”
Here’s how it works. Before you actually get into the agenda of what you came together for, each person takes a turn to share what’s on their minds. Think of it as a quick mind dump. In groups, we use a timer so that it’s a structured, intentional way to release what’s occupying your mind. And then, focus on what’s in front of you. With practice, you’ll find it easy to let go of the distractions and be more focused in the moment.
In a world where we are being bombarded with more information and “stuff” vying for our attention, you can intentionally create ways to re-focus. Developing strategies to become present to those you love and with whom you work gives you more credibility, deepens your influence, and allows you to experience the intimacy you naturally crave and often miss out on. 

Let's give what we want to receive. Are you willing to invite others into more fulfilling commutations and connections with you, to create them together? 
Try this technique, share it with your peeps and enjoy the gift of really listening and truly feeling heard!
Feel free to forward this blog to a friend or significant other with whom you want to try out “What’s on Top”. Together you can experience deeper and more meaningful, effective and more productive, conversations and connections.

Creating Wholeness in My Broken World

I am 56 years old. At age 30, I felt in utter despair as I looked about me and saw how I had chased the American dream and had realized it. With beautiful children, a lovely home, the handsome husband, and the freedom to be the at-home mom I wanted to be, I was racked with inner despair. And yet my life looked so good on the outside. On the inside, I was a woman who wanted true love above all else. I wanted to live in a home of harmony and honesty. I wanted to contribute to the world in a unique and special way - and had no idea what that meant or how I would do that. I wanted to speak my truth and be respected - even valued for this. At thirty I had no sense of having anything that my heart was crying for inside (I couldn't even hear what my heart was saying in all that sobbing). But I had everything I was groomed to go get. My conditioning set me on the path I was on. Until I consciously conditioned my mind to look at what my inner being was calling for, I, like many others, lived out a marginal life story, often feeling disappointed and frustrated.

Now, at 56, I realized everything I desired. Once I faced that inner despair and started owning my inner truth, I did the difficult work of learning to speak my truth, and sit still with what my heart wanted me to know. Now I have true love of all kinds in my life. I live in a home of harmony and kindness. I contribute in a unique and special way - and I know what that is and what it means to me. I have defined it, and continue to do so. I speak my truth and am respected and valued for it. I have it all - the all I deeply desired! And guess what - I groomed myself so that I could realize these experiences. I reconditioned my way of being and living in the world with the process I call "BE Your Medicine™".


Now what? Life continues! I want more! Life wanting more is the truth of being alive! It is what the essence of being is all about - life wanting to express itself. Because we are all life wanting to express itself, the world is a composite of individual wants. We are all embodying something which our mind has decided is the "best" way to live. The question is - are you deciding it consciously? Are you choosing what you truly want, or are you part of the stream of life that is moving semi-consciously through the flow of reacting to what has already happened in life and in your world so far, and feeling blasé about it all?

At 30, when I was in a state of inner despair, I had a life that I had believed would bring me happiness. And there were parts of it that did. I felt like being a mother was a calling for me. My desire to experience motherhood and be an active and strong part of my children's lives literally drove me into therapy! When I realized I was conflicted about my marriage, when I felt like I was living a half-truth, my deep inner world was in turmoil.  I now accept that I have a strong need to be in alignment with my inner truth by living a life that reflects my inner reality in its fullness. My first marriage was an important partnering and I learned a lot. But in the depths of my heart I was not loving and committing the fullness of my heart. I had to let go of what was "good enough", to release myself from the pain of knowing I could give and be more in a relationship as important as marriage.

Facing that truth eventually led me to finding new life, in so many ways. I learned about the me that is more than wife and mom.  I  discovered meaningful work that lets me contribute in a way that I feel proud of. I got good with the truth that I don't like small talk and I need a pretty good dose of alone time as a way to stay in balance. My idea of fun is a fabulous meditation, connecting intimately with those I love, sitting on the deck with my husband gazing at the clouds or my garden, or enjoying a delicious meal with lively conversation and a few laughs with wonderful peeps. Those simple pleasures can bring me great joy. But I wasn't groomed to know all this. I had to go find all that out and then become the transformational agent that created those experiences in my world.


Now at 56, I have more dreams and desires that arise in my being. I want to share my work with as many people as I can. I want to be a part of the larger movement of human evolution, the recognition that we are pure consciousness becoming aware of itself and all that this awareness means about manifestation, love, truth, beauty and harmony. I am deeply committed to sharing my wisdom in ways that will help others find their passion, take hold of the power within them, follow their hearts, align with their soul and live consciously and joyfully.

I am here to help you BE Your Medicine™ too.

Love Your Life and Create Joy and Peace in the World

Do you know people who love life? I do. They exude positivity. They are generous with their enthusiasm. They are passionate about what they love and love to talk about it. They are genuinely interested in you and your life. They ask questions and they go deeper than the surface. You feel good in their presence. They inadvertently spread joy and peace. Do you love your life? If not, you can come to love your life. Here is what I know about how to go from feeling sad or frustrated with life, to loving and appreciating every day.

* Learn who you really are. Discover your values, what causes you to feel passionate and excited. Then make sure everything you say and do aligns with this knowledge.

* Do not define yourself or your future by your past. As you learn who you really are, replace all old rules with what causes you to feel like you stand in joy and truth.  Be sure that any of your history that remains in your heart as anger, disappointment or judgment with and about others is healed by actively working through the feelings. Come to peace with it all. Work with a professional if need be until you are at peace with your past.

* Live fully in the present day. Practice focusing your mind in the present moment and engage fully in what you are doing. If you can't, or you resist this, start changing what you are doing until you can really release yourself into the experience.

imagesIf you are in a job or in relationships and habits that cause frustration, disappointment and boredom, it's time for change. Only You can commit to this process, advocating for joy and peace in your life. When you do, when you make this deep commitment to yourself, you will become a powerhouse!