healthy habits

One woman’s journey through the Live Your Inner Power Program: Part 4

I’m here to fulfill my highest potential. Are you?

I’m seeking the fullest expression of myself and that is why I’m in the Live Your Inner Power program. I’m done letting fear stand in my way. I want to experience all that I am here to create and share with the world in the most abundant way possible.

I read a quote in Women Who Run With Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes just the other night that said “I love my creative life more than I love cooperating with my own oppression.” Whoa. Got that one loud and clear. As I learn and grow into my fullest self I must choose to move forward in that direction towards creativity and authenticity. Those qualities don't fall into my lap while waiting ideally by - it is for me to claim them and embody them, once I grow the courage to step up and live my power. Instead of letting culture shape me and tell me what to do when (go to school, get a job, start a career, etc.), this life is for me to live, create and enjoy.

I have chosen consciously that I am ready for this. As I reviewed my habits and patterns this month I found that I could be using my time better. Seriously, so much of my days were spent worrying about doing everything on the to-do list and practicing yoga and spending time with friends and tackling a house project and on and on and on. Just thinking about that worry is exhausting. I am now seeking the opposite of my worry...patience. Focusing on not worrying about what I have to do but just doing the task right in front of me in that moment.

Understanding how I spend my time and looking at it through the looking-glass has made me realize that it’s my decision each and every moment of the day to choose how I use my willpower and my energy. When all the energy for the day is drained...that’s it, call it quits and relax. It doesn’t do anyone good to push past the limits of the energy I have to give others. It certainly doesn’t bring out my best in the projects I’m tackling.

Observing my choices allowed me to make better use of my time and relax into the fact that it will all get done. Maybe not this moment or this week. But it will happen.

This program has given me a deep awareness of both myself and my choices, which was not there before. Doing only what it is I want to be doing, taking away things that drain my energy, has become a new habit. This awakened awareness allows me to sink into enjoying the moment and release the worry I was fraught with for so long.

I’ll leave you with my latest intention that's powerfully influencing me right now and speaks directly to my constant worry. Maybe it will serve you as well…

There is time and space for everything I want to do

What emotion you are fraught with, and what may be it’s opposite that you'd like to consciously bring into your life?

Scream, Smile and Exhale Your Way to a More Satisfying Career by Mary Foley

There’s a trend happening with many of my mentoring clients that goes something like this:

“I’m soooo dissatisfied with my current career! I desperately want to make a change but I feel overwhelmed, scared and unsure how to start! Ugh.”

Ever thought that way about your career? Feeling that way now? It’s not a fun place to be.  You no longer enjoy what you do every day. In fact, you dread it. Your schedule is packed with activities that drain you. You feel scattered and pulled in multiple directions.  You feel stuck in a rut and you beat yourself up for not doing more about it.

Stop, just stop! Do this right now instead: scream, exhale and smile your way to a more satisfying career. Perhaps not the advice you expected, but it works.

SCREAM! Not at work, not at clients and not at your spouse or kids. But in the car, in the shower, or on a run. Let out your frustration. Feel the pain and be oddly gratefully for it because without it you would continue to put up with an unfulfilling, meaningless career. Screaming is validating. In one big loud sound you’re saying, “This career stinks and my life is worth more than this!”

Not long ago, I had a conversation with Sheila (not her real name) who likely had just finished screaming. She wanted to talk with me about her deep career discontent and what to do about it. The first several minutes she vented without taking a breath. When she suddenly realized what was happening she apologized. There wasn’t any need. She needed a safe place to say exactly how she was feeling. 

EXHALE. Take a deep breath and push out all the air in your lungs. Feel the ahhhhh. Now your emotions aren’t preventing your brain from helping you. Now is the time to take a moment to shift from what you don’t want to what you do.

 Ask yourself “What’s my ideal position?” or “Who is my ideal client?”

Let any and everything flow into your mind. Write it down. Add to it, remove parts, tweak it.

And, if you have a doubting, critical voice like Sheila had rolling around inside your head who asks “How are you going to do that?” or “You don’t have enough time or money to make that happen!” tell it to just SHUT UP. In fact, I suggested to Sheila to talk back to that voice and say, “Well, of course I don’t know how I’m going to do this yet! I’m not at that point yet, but when I am, I will figure it out.”

SMILE! When you fill your mind with thoughts of a better career, you can’t help but get happier. Your current career won’t hold you back or define you. To keep that curved grin, start to take the next practical steps to move from where you are to where you want to be. Action is energizing and contagious!

For example, Sheila’s response to her ideal career included three related fields, but she needed to get more specific and narrow her focus. I suggested two practical steps she could immediately take. The first was to be a bit of an online busy body searching for articles and websites that gave information about what each field entailed. The second was to do 3 -5 informational interviews with people who already had a career in each field. If she didn’t know of anyone in those fields she could ask friend and family if they did, as well tap into her LinkedIn connections.

Can you scream, exhale, and smile your way to a new, more satisfying career in 2015?  Oh yeah, you got this!

About Mary                

Mary Foley believes that energizing careers and events don't just happen – they are engineered.  That's why she has combined her engineering education, passion for inspiring professional women and two decades of live program experience to help women invigorate their careers and to help meeting planners power up the live events and communities that professional women crave. 

Mary began sharing career advice after her 10-year career at AOL - when AOL was cool - where she started as an $8 an hour customer service rep and rose to become the company’s first head of corporate training.   Known for her uncommon insights, candidness and humor, Mary is an author, featured blogger on, video maven, lively presenter, engaging facilitator, and event engineer.  For more, go to

Energize your career!  Sign up for my weekly energy blast and get your FREE video “Muster Your Mojo, Market Your Value” here.

Thank you Mary for sharing your wisdom and voice here at Live Your Inner Power! 

4 Habits for Getting Unstuck - Are you using your power today? Have you watched any Marie TV? If not, check out this one. Marie is edgy, but spot on in her advice - and she is fun! Here are 4 helpful habits that will shift your inner energy that has become stagnant and caused that stuck feeling! Stagnant energy manifests in disease. You don't have to be stuck where you are, you just have to learn how to become aware of your power to create what you want.

Moving In to Distress

Here is a short video that helps to identify the benefit in moving towards your inner distress rather than denying or ignoring it. Pema talks about the importance of watching your mind as the source of your suffering rather than the past, or the events themselves. I love writing about this topic!

Money Habits This month I am posting my favorite videos about healthy habits. Here is one from Kate Northrup. Kate is Dr. Christiane Northrup's daughter! She is coming out with a new book about money soon. I love Kate's energy. She has some practical tips on how to raise the bar of respect for money in your life, causing you to be more conscious of how you are handling the money that you do have.

The Basic Practices Matter - Laurel's Monday Message 8-6-12

Often, the basic practices of exercising, eating well, and sleeping enough are neglected. Our culture perpetuates unhealthy habits in many ways - from junk food advertising to compulsive activity without the necessary rest. Today's message invites you to focus your attention this week on your habits, becoming more powerful by bringing conscious choice to the basics. The changes can be astonishing when we consciously choose our self-care habits. When we turn focused attention to the basic practices that matter, we move out of survival mode and into thriving.