fulfillment

Self-forgiveness

When we hold judgment, criticism and shame for our past transgressions or "failures" we set ourselves up to come from an "I don't deserve this" place. Here are 7 steps to self-forgiveness. Get out your journal and get to it, to open the doors and create the life you deeply desire. 

 

1.     Allow the transgression (I like this word because it tends to be less “judgy” feeling to me, but feel free to use whatever word works for you) to be fully considered. Take time to write about it in it’s entirety. Tell the whole story with only the facts included. (Hint - it will sound like a police report.) 

2.     Now take time to explore all the feelings, complications and implications that you are struggling with regarding the situation. This is a time to let go of the facts and take inventory of how this experience has impacted you, limited your life, and caused judgments andcriticisms about yourself, others, and even the world.

3.     Ask yourself - what do I need to do or say to let this remain in the past? Is there an apology you need to make? Is there a letter you need to write a conversation you need to have?  Amends that you want to extend? Now do it.

4.     Be clear on what you learned about yourself, life, and humanity through this experience. State that clearly and make a decision that you have grown beyond the past experience, and have changed.

5.     Begin the process of letting go. Send yourself love and compassion for what happened, agreeing that you learned something valuable and that your soul has grown. Do this repeatedly anytime it comes up within or around you.

6.     Hold yourself accountable to living from this more evolved and wise place by embodying and living your wisdom in whatever way you feel is right for you.

7.     Share your truth with a trusted other in complete safety. Be sure to choose wisely so this step doesn’t send you back and continues to move you forward.

Share your comments, questions or confusion in the comments below! I'm here to support your journey into self-forgiveness.

Self-care Surrender

One of my deepest lessons in this life has been to stop people-pleasing. It still can catch me up if I am not on my game.

People pleasing comes from a place of wanting to help others. It's not a bad thing, it just doesn't necessarily accomplish the intention. When we see adults distressed and we are young, we mistakenly believe we can make life better for them by trying to please them. Wanting to please can be a fine line between socially acceptable behavior and squelching your true self. If we start this pattern when young, we get caught in cycles and patterns where we don't even know who we are. We keep modifying our behavior to avoid conflict and create less stressful situations. 

Self-care was the remedy for the people-pleasing habit in my life. I needed to get to know myself and honor who I am, understand what my needs are, and to tune in to my inner most desires.

I realized as I reflected on my life (during self-care time) that I never rescued anyone or made anyone happy though my people-pleasing. Sure, I may have made life quieter in some respects, but I didn't make the "bad stuff" go away for anyone. Finally I know that everyone has to do that for themselves. And when they do, they are empowered and uplifted. 

 

As I honor my needs, follow my wants and trust my intuition, I slowly built a life of all things good. Self-care was the path that led to serving the world naturally and with heartfelt passion. Self-care equates to feeling full every day so that I can give more, easily, and with joy.

Self-care is not optional when you decide to live a fulfilling life.

What self-care is your being asking for? Are the messages coming through illness or imbalance? Through crisis of relationship or work? Sometimes this is how life gets our attention. I'd love to know what you need ~