fear

How Is Life Calling You – Don’t Resist – Be Present for the Truth

Life has been calling me ~ Grandmother. Elder. Crone.

I am looking in the mirror. Yes, I see her.

Inside I am still me, a young woman who wants to explore life with others. I want intimacy, I want truth. I want to love openly and with wild abandon.

Why was I resisting grandmother-hood inside? It was a subtle, deep and unwanted feeling, this resistance. It was there, I didn’t resist it or ignore. But I also was uncomfortable with it.

I discovered why. Suddenly. Without struggle, without being in the story of my life. It came as a quick ah-ha as I sat at the edge of the bay with my adoring husband sipping a glass of wine on my birthday.

I was resisting the experience because I was afraid of it. I was afraid of less free time. I was afraid of losing the ground I gained in my work life this past year. I was afraid of being ME. The Mother who loves babies and bonding, who wants to be there for her loved ones. Who will sacrifice herself for the child that needs her.

And now another one? Oh right, I am not this baby’s mother. But maybe my daughter will need me :)

How am I going to fit this new experience, this new pull, into my bulging life of goodness? Oh poor me. I know - you feel so bad.

But this is the truth of life. Life comes and we need to respond. How will I respond?

I will respond gracefully I hope. Now that she is here, she and my daughter are well, and life is flowing onward. I am returning to my centered self. It will all work out. I do trust life.

Fear visits in transitions, when we don’t know, can’t predict, when we have to learn and grow. It’s just life.

Be present for your truth today. Is there something you are resisting, something that feels uncomfortable, something that is really fear but is showing up with a different emotional face?

How will you respond to your uncertainty, your call to grow today? I’d love to hear what your being is working with and where you want to go with it. Post a comment below and let’s allow resistance and fear in to the light where we can transform them. 

Change and Gratitude by Dawn Jepson

I am discovering that change and gratitude can work in my favor as I bust my old pattern of change, fear and powerlessness colluding unconsciously to weaken me. As I prepare for a major change in my life it is hard to feel appreciative or good about anything. My mind keeps drifting to what I fear. Today I am committing to starting a new habit. This life change is one for which I was not fully prepared. Perhaps no one is ever prepared when there is a huge upheaval in her life. But change does come … change that is difficult and painful. At this time it is very easy to focus on what is being lost, what I don’t have, the unknown. If I continue with this kind of thinking the anxiety is triggered, growing stronger and stronger, threatening to bring my life to a grinding halt. This is not helpful when I need to be taking practical action to respond to a big change.

As I sift through my “bag of tools and techniques” for help, I realize one technique that carries great power - gratitude. I practice directing my mind away from the pain for a moment or two and think about all I do have, and what I am going to create in my new future. With this shift of attention I feel some easing of the anxiety. The fear becomes less. There are moments of peace. What sweet relief.

At this time of year when so much of the world is focused on gift giving, I am faced with releasing what I thought was a great gift in my life. It is very difficult to imagine the future as abundant. The present is so powerfully making itself known through the painful emotions that come up, I can become stuck in a cycle of thinking that is not beneficial. But it is not impossible to make the shift.

There are moments to mourn and sit with the feelings that arise within. And then there are times to gently help the mind review the beauty that is in my life, to consider all the possibilities that await me in experiencing anything new and different. I direct both of these experiences through allowing space to process the flow of emotional energy that exists within me.

Is this easy? Not always. But it isn’t impossible and that’s what is so important for me to remember. I have the power to think what I choose. I have the ability to create thoughts that soothe and inspire. It truly is one breath, one thought at a time. I can do this.

So now as I sit quietly each day, I breathe deeply and think about all the love I am blessed to have in my life. When I feel overcome with the fear of the unknown I say thank you for the skills and abilities I have developed over the years. My health is good and I have an exciting adventure ahead. I am thankful that I am here to experience it. Change and gratitude become my working partners in life as I recognize my power in alternately flowing with, and then directing, the full experience. I feel powerfully grateful for this wisdom today.