I am going through quite a time right now. Maybe you can relate.
It started earlier this year. Part of me was acknowledging that my 60th year was to begin in May. And here I am on the cusp of that day.
I want to be alone. I am crying suddenly and if I'm not, the tears are just below the surface. I had a whole day of feeling depressed and irritable because I did something I didn't really want to do. It made me feel like a child. My skin feels sensitive to the touch. Today I burst into tears, crying pleas of sanity, as I briefly passed by the news station this morning. ugh...
All of this, and I love my life. I wouldn't really change anything in a big way.
Because I have been "here" before, or somewhere similar, I am riding the wave and wondering what might being wanting to come forth from my deeper essence. What might I need to express more of?
This morning I read a blog by one of my favorite - see if you can read this one :) - medical, gone holistic-medical, woman-mentor-from-afar's. Lisa Rankin beamed in, reminding me about an author's words I read last year. His name is Charles Eisenstein. The term came from his amazing book, The More Beautiful World Our Heart's Know Is Possible.
His words ~ "The space between our stories" is such a potent term ~
I am in an ending of sorts, and not yet in the beginning of my next life's chapter. I am between stories.
As soon as I read it - AHA! There it is. This is exactly what I am going through.
No - I am not moving, getting married, divorcing or having a baby (HA-HA!). But surely as the sun will set tonight, I am bringing forth new life, through me, in the days to come.
I can feel the urge to BE in a new way - but what? She/they remind me, I don't need to know. I just need to be gentle with myself.
And rest. And wait.
Are you feeling like your story is changing? Like you need to make some changes but don't know what? Many of us are waking up to new lives as we collectively move through change rapidly. These growing pains can be tricky :)
We'll get through it together.
So, I'll see you on the other side ~ in my new story. Soon.