communication

Surrendering to a Difficult Relationship and Finding Comfort

We mistakenly believe that relationships that are difficult are not worthy of our attention or time.

Or worse, we obsess over what to do but do nothing but think it over, and over and over. 

And at some point leaving a relationship may be the wisest decision. But leaving prematurely means you might miss an opportunity to really grow and gain essential wisdom. 

My suggestion is first to surrender to the difficult relationship. Because it let's you know what you really want, and own it.

So how do you know what to do about a difficult relationship? Surrendering can be taken in steps ~

1. Identify why you began the relationship. Be clear and precise about what you were seeking in it.

2. Assess what you want from it now. Be clear and be precise.

3. Ask for what you want. Be clear in your communication. If you are clear in yourself, you will be clear in your communication. If you are not clear in yourself, go back to step 2. 

4. Get an answer from the "other" about whether they are willing or interested to have and give, what it is you want to receive and offer, in this relay-tionship. Remember it's about both of you, it's about a back and forth. The dynamics change when BOTH people want change.

5. When the relationship is causing difficult feelings to come up for you, take time to know what the feelings are and what your expectations behind the feelings are.

6. Do your shadow work! When you are bothered by a quality in someone, ask yourself "how does this quality live in me?"

7. Trust your heart to move through the process honestly and authentically. Without authenticity you suffer and others do too.

What you want matters. If you don't claim it forthrightly, it often goes underground and makes life messy. It's courageous to own what you want.

What stops you from saying what you want in a relationship? Share that right here  and we can support you to grow in any difficult relationship you are experiencing.

Worn out by Trying to Control Life?

As I awaken more deeply into the art of manifestation and abundance, I realize the value of letting go of trying to control outcomes. My method of actualizing what I want happens in a much more magical and fun way! I am so glad I gave up the need to control and manage other people and situations! Years ago, I grew into the role of co-dependent and people-pleaser for really good reasons :) Firstly, I wanted others to be happy! Secondly I wanted harmony around me! Thirdly I wanted to be happy! These are all worthy desires.

What I realized after some counseling and through reading really great self-help books is that only I can make me happy! And only I can create harmony in my environment by living harmoniously inside, and living with others who also want this quality of life.

lifeexpands_heartsdesire

The secret to manifesting a harmonious and happy life is to discover and master it on your inner world. This means you are clear about what you want and you align your thoughts, words and actions in service to this. You focus on what you can do and not on what others are doing. You align your life with others who want similar conditions and are willing to make efforts until the reality is actualized.

You must express yourself authentically and speak openly about what you want if you are going to create your best life. I'm leading a one day retreat entitled "Find Your Courageous Voice and Be Heard Now" on September 20th. This is a great opportunity to become the conscious, proficient creator of all that want you want by learning the skills of an effective communicator.

Worn out trying to control life? It's exhausting. I remember it well. I'd love to help you discover the magic and fun of owning what you want and making it all come into reality!