What do you want to change in your life?
Is there an emotion that’s holding you back?
Mine is fear. I want to get rid of the fear of judgement in my life so that I can live with more freedom, vulnerability, authenticity and abundance.
Before I get ahead of myself, I should probably introduce myself...I’m Cassandra and I’m a participant in this year’s Live Your Inner Power (LYIP) online class. I’ll be here each month sharing my experience with you as I move through the program and grow alongside a truly wonderful group of women.
Taking part in the LYIP class was something I wanted to do so that I could understand myself better and work through a “something” that was holding me back. Before starting the program I honestly didn’t quite realize what that something was that was holding me back.
Now I see the fear, and I’m consciously working through it everyday thanks to Laurel and her powerful wisdom.
I’ve only completed one month of the Live Your Inner Power (LYIP) program and it has already been filled with ah-ha moments. The first part of the program that I completed and brought into my daily life is listening to the wake-up call. This module was all about observing my life and daily routine to find areas that are serving me best and others areas where I need to do some work and cultivate new habits that will bring about more of what I actually want in my life. Through this work I’ve uncovered areas of my life where I need to shed old patterns and habits that hold me back.
I’m already noticing more about myself than ever before. I’ve become a witness to my life in such a profound way, constantly curious about how I’m feeling, moving through the emotions as they arise and asking questions to gain more awareness.
I’m now able to tune into all aspects of my being daily, ask how I’m doing and without judging - simply accepting where I’m at and doing my best to move through my day with positivity and acceptance.
This is so hard. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m very aware and in tune with how I’m feeling but the accepting is really tough. I want to be at a certain point, I want to feel a different way, I want to achieve more - these are all things that play out in my head constantly. The acceptance is proving challenging but that’s the module I’m currently on so more to come on that!
Here are a few reflections I’ve had while listening to the wake-up call...
I literally have to listen to the wake-up call (aka my alarm). I’m wasting time laying in bed, too lazy to get up and start my day off on a positive note, I’ll snooze there until I have to get up. Then I’m rushing to get out of the door - what is that about?!
When I do hop right out of bed I have time for all the things I prefer to start my day with - a morning meditation, some journaling, walking my dog, taking my time to make a delicious breakfast and ultimately setting myself up for a successful day. So many people always talk about this magical morning routine so here I am saying I WANT IN! And no, it’s not going to be easy for me, a perpetual snoozer, but I’ll try a little harder each day to get where I want to go. Is there anyone else out there that struggles with this?! If you have a morning routine - how’d you get into one? - I’d love to know (comment below!).
I have found I’m already more in tune with my emotions. When something starts to bubble up inside, I’m more able to put it into words as opposed to simply acting poorly and in ways that might affect others negatively. I really wanted those behaviors to change.
For example, one evening while I was in the kitchen I started to feel a little put off that my boyfriend wasn’t helping me. As my hanger began to set in, all I wanted was dinner to be ready and the dishes done, feeling like I had to just do all of that myself to get it over with. I stopped, noticed what was happening, and then when my boyfriend came in to see what was going on, I told him straight up. Usually I would snap or say, don’t worry - in a tone he knows means I’m not okay (he then would reply with “why are you snapping at me?”). I told him, this is how I’m feeling and usually I’d snap at you but here I am today acknowledging that this is happening and the fact that I wish you’d simply ask me if I need any help. We both learned something major in that moment and it’s truly stuck with me. This is the power I have to stop, reflect, and move forward with a clear head, in new behaviors that feel good.
Without this program, I’d still be living on autopilot and not reflecting on my actions and how they serve me - or don’t. I know that I want to accomplish big things, ultimately moving through emotional states and patterns that hold me back. This program is helping me do just that as I’ve been reflecting more and taking inventory of what is really going on so that I can move through it with intention.
This is some life-changing work and I look forward to sharing more of my process in a few weeks. Until then, be well my fellow courageous woman!
Cassandra is a Designer and Yoga Instructor living in Nashville, TN. You can learn more about her at www.cassandra-neece.com.