Surrendering to a Difficult Relationship and Finding Comfort

We mistakenly believe that relationships that are difficult are not worthy of our attention or time.

Or worse, we obsess over what to do but do nothing but think it over, and over and over. 

And at some point leaving a relationship may be the wisest decision. But leaving prematurely means you might miss an opportunity to really grow and gain essential wisdom. 

My suggestion is first to surrender to the difficult relationship. Because it let's you know what you really want, and own it.

So how do you know what to do about a difficult relationship? Surrendering can be taken in steps ~

1. Identify why you began the relationship. Be clear and precise about what you were seeking in it.

2. Assess what you want from it now. Be clear and be precise.

3. Ask for what you want. Be clear in your communication. If you are clear in yourself, you will be clear in your communication. If you are not clear in yourself, go back to step 2. 

4. Get an answer from the "other" about whether they are willing or interested to have and give, what it is you want to receive and offer, in this relay-tionship. Remember it's about both of you, it's about a back and forth. The dynamics change when BOTH people want change.

5. When the relationship is causing difficult feelings to come up for you, take time to know what the feelings are and what your expectations behind the feelings are.

6. Do your shadow work! When you are bothered by a quality in someone, ask yourself "how does this quality live in me?"

7. Trust your heart to move through the process honestly and authentically. Without authenticity you suffer and others do too.

What you want matters. If you don't claim it forthrightly, it often goes underground and makes life messy. It's courageous to own what you want.

What stops you from saying what you want in a relationship? Share that right here  and we can support you to grow in any difficult relationship you are experiencing.