One of my deepest lessons in this life has been to stop people-pleasing. It still can catch me up if I am not on my game.
People pleasing comes from a place of wanting to help others. It's not a bad thing, it just doesn't necessarily accomplish the intention. When we see adults distressed and we are young, we mistakenly believe we can make life better for them by trying to please them. Wanting to please can be a fine line between socially acceptable behavior and squelching your true self. If we start this pattern when young, we get caught in cycles and patterns where we don't even know who we are. We keep modifying our behavior to avoid conflict and create less stressful situations.
Self-care was the remedy for the people-pleasing habit in my life. I needed to get to know myself and honor who I am, understand what my needs are, and to tune in to my inner most desires.
I realized as I reflected on my life (during self-care time) that I never rescued anyone or made anyone happy though my people-pleasing. Sure, I may have made life quieter in some respects, but I didn't make the "bad stuff" go away for anyone. Finally I know that everyone has to do that for themselves. And when they do, they are empowered and uplifted.
As I honor my needs, follow my wants and trust my intuition, I slowly built a life of all things good. Self-care was the path that led to serving the world naturally and with heartfelt passion. Self-care equates to feeling full every day so that I can give more, easily, and with joy.
Self-care is not optional when you decide to live a fulfilling life.
What self-care is your being asking for? Are the messages coming through illness or imbalance? Through crisis of relationship or work? Sometimes this is how life gets our attention. I'd love to know what you need ~