As women, it can be a struggle to maintain relationships and also commit to what we really want from work, from recreation and for ourselves. I intimately understand this dilemma. My relationships are essential to my well-being. Therefore, like many women, I must be vigilant to not over give, and then find I haven't the energy to achieve what I want in other ways.
During a final session of a week-long retreat when I was training in the Shamanic path, we were urged to commit to our work, to our life and to the path we were walking. The session was called – “No back doors”.
I often think of the phrase, no back doors, and this session as I re-commit continuously to my work as a healer and a coach. In my work with women, I witness them struggle to keep their own life in a place of top priority to them, for them. I am reminded of the deep shift that came for me when I simply decided, there would be no back door when it came to this important work. Because of this, I have written a book - something I never would have imagined not that many years ago - and work with more and more clients to live more fulfilling and satisfying lives.
As women we often work hard at our relationships, investing oodles of time and energy, often making it hard to shift focus when we want to achieve something important. It’s not necessary to abandon relationships, but it is critical to modify your patterns if you want to succeed in other important areas of life.
Here are a few steps to take today to begin to alter your habits and give yourself the energy and focus required to make what you really want a reality.
1. Take inventory of all relationships to which you give time each week. Actually track the hours you give to others to get a sense of what is really happening. This includes every hour you spend with someone that isn’t about what you really want. You might surprise yourself.
2. Identify which relationships make up your support circle – the ones that hold what you want in high importance too. These are the relationships that must become a priority as you move toward change.
3. Stop saying yes to anyone for anything for at least one month and say, “I’m not able to commit time to you right now. I have too much going on.”
4. Take time everyday, even if it’s only for 10 minutes to write in a journal about what you want to change and how you want your life to be 2 years from now.
5. Consider finding a mastermind or support group to be a part of as you make the changes you desire.
When you commit to yourself - to your deep wants, saying – there are no back doors – it’s surprising what opportunities show up, what others accept as you change and grow, and what excitement you ignite inside!
If you live in the Richmond area, think about joining us for Winter Solstice this year. We’ll be focusing on commitment and following through with action toward our dreams. Solstice is always a night to remember. Details are here.