After a very short time of living in Virginia I have chosen to return to Maine, to begin a new relationship with my ex-husband and to go back to my work at my office in Franklin County Hypnosis. This may seem a quite rapid turn of events. I made some drastic changes in my life over the last year and then moved to Virginia thinking I would be starting over in a new state. Instead, I realize that I have learned what I need and am deciding to return to the place and person I love. Yes - to go back - even though it feels like forward movement. I am a changed woman, stronger and more independent than ever before. This recent “journey” has been about inner changes, a journey I take alone. Although I realize that my change not only affects myself, but also touches the lives of others in many and varied ways.
Some people might find my stay brief. Therefore, the ability to create true change in a short period of time may appear questionable, especially in order to learn such powerful lessons. But I believe that change can happen in an instant. After all I am an expert in the field of rapid change and I have been doing inner change work for more than 20 years! Why wouldn’t it be possible for me to focus deeply on my experience and gain clarity about what comes next, at whatever point that happens to occur? I offer these thoughts to you as a consideration for hope. You too can make desired changes in your life with focus, intention and commitment.
My work of self-change in regard to creating new patterns of response, instead of using my old ways of behaving, didn’t begin on May 13th of 2013 when my move to Virginia took place. The identifying and replacing of unhealthy response patterns started the moment I was honest with myself in acknowledging those patterns were ruling my life. As I brought full awareness to these unwanted behavior responses I could then work on changing them. For me this required a number of courses of action.
The most dramatic was divorce and moving away from my home. In doing this I had the space I needed to be alone with my self/Self and use all my tools of change to face the old patterns, and replace them with new behaviors. I used breathing, meditation, journaling, tapping, prayer, self-hypnosis and talk therapy. I left no stone unturned. It was a committed 24/7 job. Why? Because I wanted to change. I wanted to be self-sufficient and love the woman I truly am inside. Yet somehow that woman had become deeply buried along the path of my life journey. I wanted to find her, free her - and I did!
I truly believe that there is no one particular “thing” that creates or “fixes” what was and now what is. For me it took self-faith and self-trust to move forward through the pain and loneliness of my change-work and in some ways also in my decision to now go “home.” Only I could face my fears from all angles, sit with them - or even walk with them, until they no longer had power over me. This has been my experience of the last 3 months.
I wish I could tell you that I discovered a magic wand or some sort of magic phrase that can be used as we all heal and move forward in our lives. The best I have to offer is this, “Be true to yourself in spite of the well-meaning advice of others.” If you do choose to trust others’ offered feedback, choose carefully and wisely. I say this because deep within you is a Wise Self who knows how to help you gain clarity and understanding. Sometimes we reach for that part of us with the help of others, sometimes it is found alone.
Now begins the work of walking my talk and living my “new life.” I am prepared for the old habits and patterns to come knocking on my door as I return to Maine. I have awareness and self-respect to greet them. I know how to sit quietly, walk thoughtfully, and wait them out. There was a day when they may have served a helpful purpose in my life. But that day has come and gone. Now I am free. I plan on enjoying my newfound ability to soar like a bird to new adventures and destinies. And best of all I am filled with happiness and peace because I found me.
An invitation from Dawn: As I read over my writing, I reflect on the sharing of my journey with you. In this recent blog contribution I have done my best to share a summation of what has occurred since the last time you heard from me. As you have just read, there has been a lot of change! I welcome your questions and wonderings as possibilities for future writing. Feel welcome to put them in the comments section (be as brief as possible please) and I will consider them, or try to briefly address/answer them. I have enjoyed sharing my life experiences (as well as the tools of my practice) and look forward to more writing contributions.