Who isn't searching for love, the kind that feels comforting, supportive and safe? We are hard-wired to desire this because it is connected to our potential to thrive. Many years ago in ground-breaking research, babies who were fed, but not held, experienced the syndrome of failure to thrive. Failure to thrive means minimal growth and lack of vitality for life. We all need love and human nurturing to grow fully.
Why then, are so many of us frustrated with the condition and quality of love in our lives? I believe it is because we were not shown or taught how to give and receive love well and fully. Many of us learned how to wall off our hearts rather than to open our hearts and tenderly connect with others. One of the processes I love guiding clients through is the re-opening of the heart.
Re-opening the heart requires immense courage as well as particular support and encouragement. When you have come to believe that the world is not safe, that others are not trustworthy or that your heart will be broken and battered yet again, closing off the heart energetically is the unconscious but effective way to keep hurt out. And guess what? It also keeps love out. Thus, failure to thrive.
At the beginning of re-opening the heart, we learn to first acknowledge the heart and how it is speaking, often crying for attention. We learn to listen, to accept, to grieve the past and to gently breathe energy back into the heart. We turn our loving attention to self and create a safe environment within where we can self-nurture and ultimately heal. We learn to release judgment, particularly of self, the action that keeps the heart closed tight. We come to understand the importance of grieving consciously, of letting go of past disappointments, of past hurts and betrayals, so that we can live fully in the now. We learn to develop healthy boundaries, one of the most essential and often difficult tasks for women who want to live balanced, loving, and happy lives.
If you are feeling like you don't experience the love you desire in your life, you can change that. When we learn to let go of the Cinderella syndrome as the answer to living a loving life, we set ourselves onto a path of learning how to let love in, in a multitude of wonderful ways. If you need help because you know your heart is walled off, I am here for you.
For those in the Richmond area, attending my workshop on Creating Loving Relationships in November will offer you ideas about how to create new patterns for opening to love consciously. You might find October's workshop, Creating Life Balance, another place to start, where you can identify what your priorities truly are and how you can reset your priorities for a more loving lifestyle. Or commit to understanding how to put all your emotional energy to use and become a powerhouse to fuel your life well by attending my workshop series on Using Your Emotional Energy Wisely. Expect to learn great life skills when you attend my workshops!