I am an emotionally sensitive creature, as are many of us. My being naturally attunes emotionally to its environment. It is an effortless and organic experience. Before I knew that this was one of my best assets, particularly as a therapist and Life Coach, it felt like a curse. Over the course of the first three decades of my life, I gathered a mess of emotional energy in me. Hours of unresolved emotional encounters with others, hours of picking up on others emotions without any validation and therefore with my own distress added to that energy, and hours of feeling disturbed about the way life was being lived around me - here is a sampling of the emotional energy that was stored within my being, waiting for expression and healing.
I found, and continue to find, that expression and healing. Talented healers, deep friendships, intimate connections, honest communication and on-going expression through writing and talking, all have helped me be where I am today. Where I am today is content to be a woman with intense emotions. What a relief.
Now I invest my working life into making space for other women, and occasionally men, to own their emotions and understand the strength and compassion that comes along with the emotional package. Many women come to me in a mess of emotion and confusion, not knowing how to process and make sense out of their histories and the scenarios they find themselves in today. We find that sense as we sort through the emotional content and find the wisdom that lies within it all - after the emotion has been released.
Here is some of what I know about woman and emotion -
* Like water, emotion is meant to flow, to move and create more energy. When it is blocked it becomes like ice, freezing us, causes great pain and bitterness for self and those around us.
* We learn the skill of working with emotions from women. (Although men are beginning to demonstrate that they can develop this skill, but I find it rare) We learn from other women who understand the depth of power that resides within the lifetime work of living fully in our female bodies, moving and utilizing well the full range of emotional energy with which we have been gifted. To find a woman with this skill set is also rare.
* It is difficult to trust your heart when you are relating from a broken heart that needs healing. Many of us suffer with broken hearts from childhood, from unhealthy relationships and from being emotionally sensitive without the proper support. We may have made numerous attempts to find love and trust in relationships that further break the heart and undermine our trust in self through poor choice. The answers will come through finding self-love and trust first - the trusting relationships follow. Time by one’s self – out of relationship with a significant other - holds incredible potential.
* Sacred space is essential to heal from a broken heart. This means a space in which whoever we are with is source of healing and compassion, knows the art of holding space for another while emotion passes, and can encourage appropriate re-evaluation in order to find the wisdom that lies within the broken heart. These are specific skills that not every "friend" possesses.
*Woman is her strongest self when she feels fully in her body and at ease, balanced and flowing in emotion, clear in thinking and able to express herself, and spiritually connected.
So how do we become our strongest selves? The equation above gives the formula. The responsibility to take ownership of the journey to get there is each woman’s choice.
Are you fully in your body and at ease there?
Do you feel emotionally balanced – and know how to return there when you are not?
Do you feel clear in your thinking and able to express yourself?
Do you feel spiritually connected?
As we collectively learn these skills and develop confidence in our best selves, we become a source of healing and inspiration. I am so honored to be a part of the process of helping women, and occasionally, men with the dance of emotion. If you are struggling with emotions, finding a trusted and unbiased other for help is the wise path. The proper help can be life changing!