I am discovering that change and gratitude can work in my favor as I bust my old pattern of change, fear and powerlessness colluding unconsciously to weaken me. As I prepare for a major change in my life it is hard to feel appreciative or good about anything. My mind keeps drifting to what I fear. Today I am committing to starting a new habit. This life change is one for which I was not fully prepared. Perhaps no one is ever prepared when there is a huge upheaval in her life. But change does come … change that is difficult and painful. At this time it is very easy to focus on what is being lost, what I don’t have, the unknown. If I continue with this kind of thinking the anxiety is triggered, growing stronger and stronger, threatening to bring my life to a grinding halt. This is not helpful when I need to be taking practical action to respond to a big change.
As I sift through my “bag of tools and techniques” for help, I realize one technique that carries great power - gratitude. I practice directing my mind away from the pain for a moment or two and think about all I do have, and what I am going to create in my new future. With this shift of attention I feel some easing of the anxiety. The fear becomes less. There are moments of peace. What sweet relief.
At this time of year when so much of the world is focused on gift giving, I am faced with releasing what I thought was a great gift in my life. It is very difficult to imagine the future as abundant. The present is so powerfully making itself known through the painful emotions that come up, I can become stuck in a cycle of thinking that is not beneficial. But it is not impossible to make the shift.
There are moments to mourn and sit with the feelings that arise within. And then there are times to gently help the mind review the beauty that is in my life, to consider all the possibilities that await me in experiencing anything new and different. I direct both of these experiences through allowing space to process the flow of emotional energy that exists within me.
Is this easy? Not always. But it isn’t impossible and that’s what is so important for me to remember. I have the power to think what I choose. I have the ability to create thoughts that soothe and inspire. It truly is one breath, one thought at a time. I can do this.
So now as I sit quietly each day, I breathe deeply and think about all the love I am blessed to have in my life. When I feel overcome with the fear of the unknown I say thank you for the skills and abilities I have developed over the years. My health is good and I have an exciting adventure ahead. I am thankful that I am here to experience it. Change and gratitude become my working partners in life as I recognize my power in alternately flowing with, and then directing, the full experience. I feel powerfully grateful for this wisdom today.