This is my third start to writing this week's blog. I plan to finish this one, but please excuse if it seems a little messy and free-floating thought wise. The other two blog writings that aren't finished will show up here eventually... For those of you that know me, I recently passed through a major life transition. My youngest daughter graduated from college. I turned 55 the day after graduation. There was an interestingly strong force of energy that built up around that time for me. Being mindful of life experience in this way, I simply rode the energetic wave and basked in the joy of this time of my life. I had moments of sadness, still do, but consciously watch them arise, feel them and release them. This is my best practice with feelings.
What I am exploring, and sharing here, are the less conscious aspects of transitioning that are present but work internally, behind the scenes. If we are unconscious to what is happening, we often become uncomfortable in our being. Words like frustration, irritability, discomfort, anxiety and unsettled all come to mind. These are some of the words we use to describe the inner workings of transition, especially when we are less conscious to the process. We are moving out of our comfort zone, into unknown territory. Beginning with naming the transition and reminding ourselves we are in this space is a powerful shift.
As I consciously focus on what is happening within me, I recognize some of these feelings. Today I am exploring this through the lens of releasing my mother role (I imagine myself taking off a crown :)). I am connecting the dots of my inner workings and my outer urges. Here are a couple of examples.
* I no longer want to organize the order of the dishwasher. When I am irritated with the mess in it, I simply say "who really cares? " to myself. I have decided, consciously, I do not want to be the queen of the dishwasher. If it runs more regularly, oh well.
* I am frustrated when I am distracted from my work and my creative life, if it is not on my schedule. Wow, this one is difficult to acknowledge, consciously. But it's true. I am loving what I am creating, although it is a huge task, and quite frankly, not much else is as interesting to me right now.
* For the first time in my life, I want to hire someone to clean my home. This feels unsettling. This may sound strange, but I haven't minded cleaning most of the time. I don't like the work, but I liked the results. Since I am very in tune with my environment, it feels good when the energy is clean and fresh, when everything is visually appealing. Often I rearrange or decorate as a part of cleaning and this makes the task much more pleasant. The decorating part fulfills some of my creative need. And as "mother", creating a comfortable and nurturing home environment was a pleasure deep inside. As I consciously watch my lack of interest, and desire for it to simply be done, I know it's connected with putting down the crown.
These are just a few of the "little" examples going on in my life right now. The more consciously I watch them and connect them to my transition, the more easily I move through them - making a conscious choice about how to respond now from this new place in my life. My goal is to be kind and direct, even when I am feeling unsettled or irritated.
Today I started listening to a free audio lecture about mother/daughter/woman energies. Wow, thank you Crystal Andrus of the SWAT Institute. I will going back and making notes from it to use with my clients as well as referring every one of my clients to the lecture. There is a wealth of information about this topic that can create new perspectives and language for all women as we pass through the transitions of life, and as we reflect on what is and isn't working in our lives. More on this later.
This transition of my life, although intense now, has been going on since my youngest graduated high school. I have been on a voyage of consciously creating the next part of my life. Each time I claim what I want and act on it, amazing new things come into my life. The most concrete and continuous flow I can use as an example is free on-line content that has supported every aspect of what I am creating and how I am progressing. Sometimes it seems it's as if I have an angel sitting at my keyboard, watching me write, think and create, and saying, "who can help Laurel this week?" The next thing I know, an email pops into my inbox with some awesome new content, inspiring me in just the way I want.
Transitions can be tricky. My best advice this week for moving through them is, notice how you are feeling. Ask yourself, what am I letting go of? and what am I heading towards? Then consciously let go - pause, when you feel uncomfortable. Stop what you are doing and ask, "what can I do differently?" Feel the feelings, keep them moving, don't stuff them where they will weigh you down, and don't lash out at others where they will cause damage. Simply ask, how am I growing and changing, and what does this mean, right now, simply for this moment? Let these questions and answers inform you internally about where you have been, the strengths that you bring to today. Then feel the excitement of the unknown and ask, what do I want to create next in life?