Here we are in a new era of relationship awareness and growth. Spending time talking with clients about what they want in relationships, what feels uncomfortable and individual patterns that they want to change are topics of importance to everyone I encounter. The quality of our lives is deeply impacted by the condition of our primary relationships, so it seems natural that giving good attention and finding understanding about how we are living in our relationships is key to life satisfaction and fulfillment. In fact the more we evolve and learn about our humanity, we are discovering that relationships are at the heart of our personal fulfillment. Unfortunately, we often feel frustrated and blocked in our relationships and the patterns of interacting and communicating currently established. To push for change may mean that we risk ending important relationships. We avoid change when we fear others will not do the work of self-reflection and acceptance that is required as we sort through the history of our patterns and behaviors, working to develop more effective and supportive ways of approaching our intimate interactions. Indeed it can be a risky proposition to confront unhealthy patterns that we no longer wish to live within but are perpetuated by our inability or unwillingness to address them. In order to find true inner peace, eventually we need to get to the business of addressing and confronting the difficult.
The good news is that with new skills, addressing difficult and sometimes threatening-feeling topics can be – not so bad. We often make drama and extreme scenarios the reality in our minds because of our fear and because of our inability with how to proceed. The new era I refer to is the era of learning the skill of navigating relationships well. Risking the relationship for new beginnings, for more happiness and fulfillment, for inner integrity and honesty by speaking up and learning how to work through whatever issues keep you feeling dissatisfied with your current life circumstances when it comes to relationships - these are skills that I love to share. Finding new life in relationships means confronting what limits us from within, looking at how we might be keeping ourselves, and essentially others, stuck in places we do not want to be.
What limits us from within are the beliefs and patterns we hold onto. We hold onto unhealthy patterns for many reasons, some of which include - because we don’t know what else to do - or because we fear loss or being alone - or we because we avoid confrontation and rejection - or because we are immobilized by others patterns that overpower or minimize what is important to us. We can turn all these patterns around, we can learn new skills, trusting that our inner world wants our attention and communicates to us through any inner distress. The beginning of change and growth is our willingness to risk taking the first step. Often this means we identify and state what we really want, wanting something healthier than the safety of what we already know.
I invite you to listen to a four-part interview that I recorded with Kinlen Wheeler, co-founder of Sacred Pathways. Kinlen shares how she navigates change in her relationship and risks the known for a deeper and more authentic expression of herself in her primary relationship. She shares the tension of taking responsibility of fulfilling inner needs, breaking down old patterns to establish a sense of new life and authenticity in relationship, and turning inward to become clear about personal fears and needs. It is a provocative and compelling sharing that I hope will inspire others to risk looking inward at the truth of what we co-create in our relationships. Click here to access Part I. You will find all four parts of the interview on my YouTube Channel.
Watching these short videos is a great way to start 2012, focusing on the possibility of what life might look like as we awaken to the power of our individual consciousness. Be a part of creating the new world that is arising in 2012 by taking a risk, challenging the status quo. We are the new Earth when we think and behave with true integrity.