Experiments

Life is an experiment, or at least we can approach it this way. Presently, I am absorbed in the experiment that my outer world is a manifestation of my inner world. Meaning, what I see around me (in a day-to-day way) is a mirror of what is happening within me. I have read about this idea and it resonates strongly within me. Years ago this was much harder to imagine as a truth because when I wasn't happy with my life, I didn't want to think that I could be manifesting it - in any way. It was much easier to believe that it was a series of unfortunate mishaps, results of choices made when I wasn't so clear about what I wanted, and the convergence of these factors with the interactions of those around me, especially the "those" with whom I experienced any inner conflict. Today, I like to think that I am manifesting a world of harmony around me as I work with my inner world to create inner peace; more experimenting. I want to be clear that I am not saying we are solely responsible for the horrible things that happen in the world. For instance, when we are stricken with a horrible disease, when natural disasters occur, when terrible accidents happen, or when those with evil intent come into our lives and victimize us (all examples of extremes), what I imagine is that there is a conglomeration of forces that we are involved in and our energy is one force in the factors that brought about the "crisis" or "mess". That being said, I wish not to offend anyone with the assumption that I might be saying things like - "you caused your cancer". It is more complex than this. And what I hope anyone reading will note is that I am experimenting with my life alone. I see my life as an experiment through which I gather data and come up with hypotheses. I like to think others can do this for themselves as they wish. My findings are simply my findings.

An interesting couple of events occurred recently. Within the course of one week, two individuals in my life spoke to me, nearly word for word, what I had been experiencing within as an inner conflict. They were speaking about their own experiences, simply sharing what was happening in their inner worlds. The first time this mirroring caught my attention and I was able to share my mirrored feelings in my own experience, allowing an opening for the other to more readily understand my feelings (since they had just stated clearly the same within them). The second time I was astounded that this had happened again, nearly right after the first experience. This time the words were hard to hear, they mirrored feelings I have been grappling with for some time. Because the topic was a sensitive one and my feelings were less than "positive", I had been withholding my thoughts until my feelings were clearer and I was clear in my intent about what I chose to say. Recently, I had become aware of my confused inner intentions about this topic. What I realized in this was that if I spoke from a place of confused or multiple intentions, I was sending a mixed message. In that type of communication, most of the time, everyone ends up confused or unable to come to resolution with the topic at hand.

There is much fodder here for discussion about communications, intentions, listening well, using our voices well, and more! But for now, I will attempt to focus on the topic I have introduced - life as an experiment. My experiment is that my outer world is a mirror of my inner world. Here were two prime examples of what I was thinking about. The world around me seemed to be manifesting what was occupying my inner life. The occurrences right in front of me were showing me a fuller picture of how my thoughts and feelings could play themselves out. It was simple to see in the "other" what I could not see in myself. In a less conscious way, I could have been thinking in response to what I heard from them, things like, "well that's too bad, maybe you could create different boundaries, perhaps you could talk with them about this, or isn't this sad for you." Instead, with the examples of my inner world right in front of me, I could readily see the place within me that was hurting, what needed attention and how I had played a part in manifesting the dynamics. Suddenly it was clearer to me what my intentions were, where I was blinded by my own needs and how it was difficult to be in service or available to others when my own needs were not being met well. The happenings in front of me opened a new perspective about how to approach my inner life and how to heal what I felt stuck in. I became clearer about my intentions, sorting out my ego-oriented intentions, (like - I want them to see that I have a valuable perspective here) from my higher self values (like I want to express myself freely without causing others harm). As I sort out my ego intentions from my higher self intentions, I am able to more readily take care of my ego needs within myself, or at least be aware that they are there and often the insight diffuses them. If I end up acting and speaking on my higher self values, I realize I feel satisfied, and others with whom I am interacting are able to address more readily their own issues with me. It ends up being a win-win scenario. When I am clear about my intentions and am coming from a healed place within, life flows smoothly. This is data from other life experiments that are ongoing in my world. I have been paying attention to my intentions and related behaviors for a long time. I feel confident in saying that this experiment has been well-proven to me.

As I continue my life experiment that my outer world is a mirror to my inner world, I relentlessly seek the places where I am dissatisfied with the quality of my outer world. When I find such a place, during my prayer/meditation time I begin to ask for clarity with statements like "reveal to my consciousness how I may be manifesting this by what is happening in my inner life. Please give me the wisdom of how I may alter this circumstance through becoming aware of how the disharmony or block lies within me. Reveal to me the ways I am manifesting this condition in my life." And then I wait, look, and listen. The messages come. Sometimes they come in loud, living color like they did a week or so ago. Sometimes, they come as an inner compelling knowing that I must act on something that I have been reluctant to engage in, or to see how I am not believing in myself and who I am, or what I have to offer and this is driving my behaviors rather than what I say I want being the driving force. All this becomes opportunity to alter my inner world, revamp my beliefs and act on what I value and want versus the subconscious material that floats within, often creating havoc in life.

In holding all my beliefs as hypotheses to be tested and then supported by experience, or not, I find that I am always growing truths that cast a wider net. This expands my boundaries and causes me to hold life in a greater awareness. I feel paradoxically more authentically empowered and yet a small speck of the divine light that exists in the world with all our light sparks interconnected and impacting one another as they flow and connect and diverge. As I consciously create my inner world, I do see the great impact it has on my outer world. I see the healing and harmony that grows outside of me as I find it within myself. And I am amusing and entertaining myself daily with my own "experiments"; life has become more joyful and more interesting in so many ways. And this supports my data about how to create a happy life.