I say this often - very often with clients. It was a mantra that I could barely believe, had to keep repeating as it tested me, when I was in my slow change process for years. The lesson of learning to trust the process is serving me well right now as I gather more long-term plans with family and goals for myself, my work. Because my process has evolved, and I can see it in a life I love today, I more readily, now, trust the process. Trust, let’s see. Who do you trust? Firstly, do you trust yourself? Trusting in someone means we rely on them to make positive choices and decisions, in line with who they say they are and what they value. Generally we believe in their way of thinking or reasoning as they make their way along the road called life. And even if we don’t agree with their method of getting places all the time, we honor their good intentions and their heart for being considerate or wanting the highest good. So looking through these statements, do you trust yourself? How about the people you have put around you in your life - your friends, colleagues, and family members? How much trust do you put in others and their overlapping life process with yours? Are you choosing wisely where you put your trust? In choosing wisely we increase our trust in ourselves, or in choosing poorly, we diminish it.
Now - the process. I would say that I have become mainly process oriented. Even in my writing I focus on my experience of writing, opening to ideas, allowing the theme to take some shape, then putting words to the energy of what seems to be happening as I engage with it within me. I have found if I am working too hard at making my thoughts appear on paper properly, then I have become overly product-oriented and generally do not feel good about what I have written; most times it gets dumped. This other way of accomplishing, by staying in process, allowing it to almost come to form through me, seems to offer the best results. Seems to be this way for my life in general, any attempt to force things to happen to quickly, in a particular manner, just doesn’t seem to end all that well.
When considering an overall process, as in life in general, somehow we often find ourselves in the realm of the spiritual. Do we trust in a higher order, a wisdom that is deeper, more transcendent than ours to influence the events, the energies flowing about us? Do we trust in a proper outcome, one that serves us in some way that perhaps we cannot presently make sense of or see in the moment while the events are taking place, even when we don’t like it or resist it? Do we recognize that there is a bigger picture, one that we cannot take in from our relatively small, limited individual perspective, so that we come to trust that in the bigger picture life indeed will make sense? Do we incorporate a theme of learning through mistakes, struggles and pain as a mode of growth, rather than suffering in that process?
It’s difficult, if not impossible, to trust the process if we don’t trust ourselves. We are the critical cog in the wheel of our individual life, so we must come to count on our decisions, our intentions and our attitude as we move through our days. We must come to believe we can rely on ourselves to lead us to a place that resonates as our place of belonging, meaning where we reside, whom we spend time with, how we work and play in the world. When we truly trust ourselves, we engage with others in a way that transmits this, and invites others to learn to trust themselves. Our travel companions in our lives are trusted too, because we trust ourselves to choose wisely, and to make changes when we see that it is necessary for the highest good, even when these changes are difficult to make happen.
Assessing how you trust the process can be an interesting and eye-opening exercise of looking in the mirror to see what your life is reflecting back. If you see someone looking back that you do not trust today, make a commitment to change that and start re-evaluating how you are “doing” your life. It is never too late to alter the course, to shift the direction in which you feel you are headed and to develop trust in yourself by making choices that cause you to feel honorable about your life. Learning to trust yourself and the process can be the change that takes you into the life you really want to be living.