Nothing exists unless it is seen.

Nothing exists unless it is seen. There were parts of me that I could not see, did not know existed; I was not looking and I believed that no one else was. Then, as I learned to stay with me, to sit with myself quietly and allow what arose, all of it, I began to realize that I had strengths and aspects of myself that were hidden within. As these parts of me began to reveal themselves from amidst the hurt and sadness, and as I offered space in my life to them, they began to blossom and grow. Suddenly I was a “me” that I had never seen before. Now I live a life I could never have imagined years ago.

Nothing exists until it is seen. When I read this line in a magazine, it hit me! How do we change, or even engage with, a world that we do not even see? If we do not look in the mirror – how would we determine that change would be fruitful to us? Mirror, mirror on the wall? Who is willing to look deeper than the image that is reflected back? Who wants to see what lies beneath our outer appearance, see into the depths of our hearts and souls? Denial is a strong psychological mechanism that many have acquired and then been unable or unwilling to let go of, once it outgrew its usefulness in our lives. Denial only postpones and compounds at some point. It is up to us as adults to acquire the skills to look at our truth.

In the many sessions I experience, sitting with clients, full of self-loathing, disappointment, disrespect, part of my role is being the one to hold the image of the beautiful person in front of me, living buried beneath all the behaviors that have made them feel weak, small and badly about themselves. And nearly every client, as they let down their walls and we developed a trusting relationship, begins to reveal that beautiful inner spirit in our process. Sometimes, the client refuses to acknowledge it for quite sometime, their self-critic too entrenched in their everyday experience to let up, even for a moment.

Nothing exists until it is seen. My garden’s healing beauty cannot envelope me unless I go out, sit it in, basking in the beautiful energy. I cannot experience the stillness of sitting at the lake’s edge without spending time, quietly, right there. I will not know what is hurting my daughter’s heart unless I sit quietly with her, offering space for her to reveal her inner world to me. I will not learn the depths of my writing unless I continue with it, searching ever more deeply within for the words that call to be released.

That which we give our attention to grows. This is a line we often quote at the women’s centers. We come to learn that, indeed, what we offer our attention to is what expands in our lives. Try it if you do not readily believe this law. As you offer a grateful heart to what you have in your life, what is good, the goodness grows. If you choose to remain critical and negative, you will find that this too will grow.

Nothing exists until it is seen. What do you see today? Are you looking? What do you want to see? What do you want in your life? How will you create it if you are not really looking? Our power resides in our ability to sit with our truth, no matter what it is. But nothing exists unless it is seen. Look closer, what do you see?