The hardest, most painful experiences of my life were difficult to live through. During these last years, as I have come to rely on a higher wisdom to guide me and to look to in faith, the hard times seem less. But when the painful stuff comes, it hurts and it hurts badly. When this happens, I can still find it difficult to get through even when I know deep within, that it will make sense one day when I look back on the event. And when I say make sense, I simply mean I will see it for what it was, a learning experience, a growth experience, a loss experience, hopefully extracting the lesson that will help me grow wiser, helping me make more suitable behavior choices in the future. But the reality is, I cannot avoid the painful part, and if I choose to, it only gets compounded within me, showing up as later life work to address. Today, as I experience a return of symptoms that are uncomfortable, itching and all over pain, heaviness within, I am aware that I no longer am resisting it. I seem to just be allowing it, gently noticing it and then getting to what I can, given the limitations of my energy right now. This is the first time I do not find myself scared or frustrated. This is my life experience today, and I am honoring it for what it is.
When we are living the hard stuff of life, how do we get through it? There are many answers for this, but there are a few that I find essential in order to make the most out of our life trials.
1. Allow all feelings; make space to feel them fully. 2. Move out of your mind made worry/fear/ confusion at times. Our quest for immediate answers is usually fruitless. They seem to come in time, as the fullness of life reveals itself. 3. Talk about it in a safe and loving place, but not overdoing the talking. Sometimes rehashing and revisiting just stimulates more of the same feelings vs. a sense of resolve. 4. Be active for part of your day, stagnancy in anyway can breed more problems. 5. Take time outs to experience the hard stuff, but make attempts to get on with life. Wallowing for too long may just make more misery of it. If it is a particular event, spending more time immediately with your feelings and moving back into routine slowly usually works.
What I do know is that no one likes this part of being human. But we can learn skills to cope more readily, to learn our lessons so that we won’t repeat our hard stuff, and to more gracefully and fully experience life. This is how we grow into our unique wisdom.