1. Allow the transgression (I like this word because it tends to be less “judgy” feeling to me, but feel free to use whatever word works for you) to be fully considered. Take time to write about it in it’s entirety. Tell the whole story with only the facts included. (Hint - it will sound like a police report.)
2. Now take time to explore all the feelings, complications and implications that you are struggling with regarding the situation. This is a time to let go of the facts and take inventory of how this experience has impacted you, limited your life, and caused judgments andcriticisms about yourself, others, and even the world.
3. Ask yourself - what do I need to do or say to let this remain in the past? Is there an apology you need to make? Is there a letter you need to write a conversation you need to have? Amends that you want to extend? Now do it.
4. Be clear on what you learned about yourself, life, and humanity through this experience. State that clearly and make a decision that you have grown beyond the past experience, and have changed.
5. Begin the process of letting go. Send yourself love and compassion for what happened, agreeing that you learned something valuable and that your soul has grown. Do this repeatedly anytime it comes up within or around you.
6. Hold yourself accountable to living from this more evolved and wise place by embodying and living your wisdom in whatever way you feel is right for you.
7. Share your truth with a trusted other in complete safety. Be sure to choose wisely so this step doesn’t send you back and continues to move you forward.
Share your comments, questions or confusion in the comments below! I'm here to support your journey into self-forgiveness.